I Am Letting Go

I never thought that I was ever going to say this, but, here I am – ready to make the most important step in my life and tell you: I am letting go of you.

I am cutting you out of my life, but not because I want to give you a taste of your own medicine or because I want to take my revenge on you.

I am cutting you out of my life because you don’t deserve me anymore.

You don’t deserve all of the time, energy, and effort I’ve been investing since day one. You don’t deserve all of the tears I’ve shed. You don’t deserve the sweet, comforting words I tell you so as to cheer you up when you feel worried or sad or when you have a hard day.

You don’t deserve all the things I do to keep life exciting and colorful.

I am letting go of you, but not because I no longer love you – my love for you has always been genuine and pure, but because you squandered all of the chances I gave you. Because you didn’t bother to appreciate all the times I forgave you for your mistakes. Because you didn’t fulfill your promise to change.

I am letting go of you because I can no longer make excuses for your empty promises and pathetic excuses. I can no longer put up with and justify your mistakes, lies, and hurtful words.

I am letting go of you because you don’t deserve my kindness, my compassion, my patience.

You see, I tried really hard. I did my best to make you happy. I did my best to help you pursue your goals and dreams. I did my best to help you grow and become a better version of yourself. I did my best to make things work.

And what did I get in return?

Blame games, broken promises, lies, disappointment, confusion, and sadness.

Yes, this is what I’ve received for loving you, and I am tired of it.

I’m tired of trying hard to save you. I’m tired of waiting for you to look at me the way I look at you- with eyes full of warmth and affection. I’m tired of waiting for you to love me the way I love you.

I lost track of myself. I forgot who I was and what my priorities and desires were. I forgot who I was before you were my life because I put your feelings, needs, and wishes before my own. Because I put you before myself. Why?

Because I loved you from the bottom of my heart. Because I loved you deeply, passionately, selflessly, and unconditionally. Because I loved you for who you were. I loved every part of you, including your flaws and imperfections.

I still carry that love in me, you know?

But I can no longer let my love for you steal my happiness, drain my energy, and ruin my dreams. That’s not what I deserve.

Therefore, I’m letting go of you. It’s time to start loving and respecting myself for a change. It’s time to allow myself to search for my happiness and love somewhere else.

To: The Old Me

From: Who I Really Am