I'm Still Here

You'll be happy to know that I'm still functioning. I have had the unfortunate displeasure of being bullied a bit here and there, but nothing I couldn't contend with the same way I've dealt with you since the beginning.

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So, Jack(who has no social media presence and limited knowledge of cell phones) got into your phone and "restricted" us on social media and changed my "nickname" in our chats, huh? You had no idea that was going on, right? You left your phone at home? Pfffftttt! Bitch, please. You know I know better than that. I know you would not EVER leave your phone at home. You would die a thousand deaths if Jack went through your phone and saw the messages between you and a certain trans man we know. Jack would likely divorce you if he saw what you had planned and the photos you sent this individual of your naked body. Fortunately, our friend knew better than to get deeply involved with you again. After all these years, he knew any emotional involvement would end disastrously for him. He did keep all that though, just in case he ever thought Jack might want to see it.

You miss being with women? That is so bizarre considering the number of times you've declared that I am a closet lesbian, yet I have never craved the intimate companionship of a female.

Yeah, I know all about it. You thought I didn't; that he had kept his mouth shut about all the things you talked about. Are you that stupid? You knew I'd find out about it, but what really makes me scratch my head with curiosity is why the hell would you want ME to find out about your fuckery? I have outed you before. It was as pointless as it would be this time, which is why I didn't bother, but why let me find out about it at all? Why not choose someone new with whom to carry out your adulterous affairs? You truly have not changed in all these years. Remember that ethics course you had to take to get that "masters" degree? Were you paying attention that day or was it just corporate ethics you studied (because it sure as hell wasn't Sunday school classes). I digress.

Why issue your venom on me? Why write the letter and have Jack sign his name, when it would only serve to destroy his career if I chose to sue him for defamation? Are you okay with Jack taking the fall for something you did? Oh, wait, yeah you actually are because I know of several times when other people have taken the fall for you. Hot checks, stolen credit cards, just to name a couple. Yeah I know about all that, too. Yes, you are actually fine with ruining Jack; even if nothing more than vengeance for him cheating on you with the woman in Texas.

I didn't judge you and I'm not judging you now - just calling you out on your bullshit; which I know you hate. You have no rights or entitlements, dear. You need to mind your business and stick with your husband and your cruises and the hubris of a narcissistic Leo and leave everyone else alone. It's not ever going to benefit you to be as ridiculous as you have been since I've known you. Jack tolerates you, most other people will not - at least not the REAL you, a person who Jack still does not know. I'm contemplating showing him who you are really, I still have ALL the cards, remember? I never throw anything away. You've done a fine job of hiding your true face from Jack all these years, give you credit for that at least, but you couldn't even make it a year with me. You blamed ME for the bullshit you were doing? Wow, nothing has changed in 30 years. You told people I destroyed YOUR life back then? Really? You stalked and harassed my husband until we had to get the prosecuting attorney to send you a cease and desist letter (which you politely ignored). Then you sent me photos (which I still have by the way) of you and Jerry, and you and Jake and Jerry, and just Jake and Jerry, to gloat at how you'd won your "prize". Still, I overlooked those insults last year when I opened up communication with you to give you another chance to see if you were as loathsome as I thought you were back then. Shrug....you are.

You were correct in one thing you said; you never really knew me at all. No, you didn't. I have given you nothing but kindness over the course of the last year, and you have been sneaky and conniving and withheld information from me that would have undermined your "plans". Hey, just so you know, those aren't the actions of a "friend". Those are the actions of a "frenemy". You let me in on just the part of each scandal that made you look like a victim, but spared me the part where you were the one striking the painful blows to other people. You let me see the reaction, but not your actions that caused the reaction. Yeah I know what you said to Jake that made him stop talking to you and I know it was about me and Jerry. You denied it, of course, kind of like everything else. Someone else is always at fault while you're just poor little old you, getting the shit end of the stick while other people are getting away with murder.

Narcissistic personality disorder is reality. No, I don't necessarily think Jack is the narcissist. I think you are and I think you project like a champion. I think you have mastered the art of projection to a point now that you aren't really certain you're doing it. You believe your own lies. You believe your own bullshit and when you think you don't, try asking yourself why you never had the balls to confront ME in person. You told Jack hours, even weeks worth of bullshit about me, but then how did you possibly work into your scheme how you stayed at my house this year. I mean, I can assure you, if someone "kidnapped" my child while I was at work, there's no time in the present or future that I would relax at their house for a weekend.

If someone forged names on documents in order to get custody of my child, there is no way in hell, not in this lifetime or any other, that person would ever ride in a vehicle with me, let alone share poignant memories like my son's 30th birthday with me. Yet, somehow, you managed to get Jack to buy the dialogue that I'm not only a monster who forges names to get legal documents through court without being noticed, but I'm also a friend worthy of spending a holiday, vacation, and a grandchild's birthday. I'm just someone who married your ex husband out of one side of your mouth, and I'm your sister out the other side of your mouth. You need to make up your mind. Actually, I'll make it up for you, since you convinced Jack that I'm a "control freak" simply because I don't fuck around and wait for people to make up their mind. I'll make the decision here. To end whatever this is you pretended we had; just know that I wasn't pretending. I truly, genuinely developed sister-like feelings for you in the interim. Now, I don't. That's the absolute jewel in the crown of an abandoned child; we know how to shut off feelings and shut out people like trained professionals.

I have peace in my life without you in it. As much as I wanted to be your friend and give you something you've never had, I won't waste one more second worrying about it because you cannot make up your mind whether you want to compete with me or hate me because of your absolutely insane jealousy. Everyone warned me. Jerry thought I was crazy to try to reach out to you and I even had him working on his hatred of you in order to make it work. He did mean his apology to you, by the way, he just wishes he hadn't said it in front of Jack now. Ryan thought I was crazy but he was on my side because he wanted to see peace after all these years. My family was absolute about you never coming around them. They thought I was crazy for trying to second-guess myself because you made yourself known decades ago. The difference is, you made people believe I was something I wasn't, and I tried to make people believe you weren't something that you are; a self-obsessed sociopath with profound personality disorders.

The language in that letter that Jack signed that was unmistakable. Bailey even asked why you didn't just go ahead and sign it yourself. She read it and she could not imagine what motivated you to write such horrible things about me just weeks after telling me you love me. She is so offended at your behavior that it's brought up the trauma and reminded her of why she wanted nothing to do with you in the first place. She gave her birthday E-gift card to Aaron, by the way, which he used to buy something for his daughter.

She will never reach out to you again. You are NOT responsible for her recovery, you were an Uber, nothing more. She doesn't have a message to send you.

I have one. Goodbye.